Je t'aime, but C'este la vie.

I wish I could just shut off emotions like you. The disappointment, for the second time, is crushing. So selfish, yes, to want to see you. At all costs, really. I miss you, and this weekend was supposed to be fantastic. A break from the monotony or our lives. Oh well, since there is nothing I can to do to change it, I must accept and stop dwelling. C'este la vie. Such is life.

"Gonna hold ya, gonna kiss you in my arms. Gonna take you, away from home." I have developed the great habit of optimism, and self improvement. I'll see my many flaws and work to improve. I'm proud of that, more than anything. And I have tried to stop giving advice and start taking it. I have been high and mighty for a while and never noticed. Like all other teens, I believe I am wiser than my age. And although I still hope it to be true, the odds are that this is my delusion.

I hope to stop hoping. I frequently get let down some way or another. I have learned to grow from every bad experience, so from this I will extract that disappointment is everywhere, and hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I talk about hope so much, I wonder why that is. It must be what keeps me going. From my past and current place in life, I should be unhappy. Fortunately I have medication to ease the pain, and idealism to help me hope. I would love to show people the bright side, make them see there's a lot more than just the let downs. Maybe someday they'll learn<3